A Letter From Scott

This is a letter Scott wrote for a family reunion my parents went to in November. Thought I would share with everyone.


well hello my deariest family, im sitting here in afganistan writing you all a letter that my mom would liketo share with you. i hope you all enjoy and i hope ive kept it short enough thati didnt bore any of you.

but before i begin my stories down memory lane to thecurrent events. i want to make a clarification. the last time i was in Utah withmom and dad. i remember barbara asked me why i was joining the service. iremember i gave a very uneducated typical highschooler answer "seems likethe cool thing to do" i just want to clarify now that the reasons i joinedare much bigger then that. i did it then because i wanted to be part ofsomething much bigger then i could possibly imagine at the time. i did it causemy dad and grandfather did it. i did it cause i wanted to do my duty to mycountry and to myself. Now that im here im doing it for the men i serve with andfight along side with. men that have become my brothers and best friends. also,cause its just the cool thing to do.

army starts in basic. there isnt a whole lot i can say about basic. other thenit sucked and the first night i was there i put my face in the pillow and reallystarted to question what i got myself into. physically and mentally it didntbreak me or bother me. but emotionally for the longest time i was wrecked. id goto church every sunday and id find a seat in the back and put my face in it andcry. i dared not cry around the guys i was going through with. but at church itwas cry fiesta. it all got better though when i got a letter from my bestfriend. he was just a week behind me and he told me he was going to be coming tochurch. when i saw him the sunday i jumped out of my chair and went up to himand gave him a big hug. after that i was golden. nothing was gettin to meanymore, cause now every sunday i had someone from home to talk to. like i saidthough. there isnt alot to talk about when it comes to basic. just funny storiesthat would take to long to type out.

after basic i got to go home for two weeks and do some hometown recruiting.that sucked. nobody wanted to talk to me, and then the only people that did wantto talk to me, asked me questions only recruiters could answer. id have to tellthem im a fresh out of basic private and i dont know anything about the armyyet. made me feel really stupid, but i understood real quick why they throw newprivates out there like that. peoples interest get sparked and if they wantanswers they got to go talk to a recruiter. nothing much more to say about that.

after HRAP i finally reported to my unit. i was only there for a month beforewe all shipped out to Iraq. leaving that night was hard. mom and dad dropped meoff at base, and we said our hard goodbyes. the only good thing about that nightis that i got to spend the last few hours with them sitting in a hotel roomcounting down the hours. the time came and i didnt even bother having them getout of the car. i just reached in through the window gave em both a hug toldthem i loved them and would see them soon. turned and walked away as fast as icould before starting to think to much.

when we got into kuwaitt, well there isnt nothing much to talk about there.its nothing but a hot desolete waste land inhabitated my BMWs. thats it. myplatoon was the first to go down range(thats iraq). we left a day after theiraqi elections. we got to our FOB. it actually wasnt to bad. running water,good food, internet in our own rooms, laundry points. this may sound a littlecrazy, but iraq was fun. we did over 400 combat patrols so countless hours ofcombat time outside the wire. saw alot of crazy nasty things and even did somedaring things that i havent even told the guys in my family about. by the end ofthe tour i personally had hit 5 IEDs. the platoon as a whole hit 18. we had twonames throughout our company and later caught on to the rest of the battilon. wewere bomb sqaud cause we hit the most in our entire battilon. and we were themorticians cause we saw so many dead bodies in our sector. shittes and sunnisjust took turns killin eachother at night and leaving the bodies out for us. yeah, iraq was fun ihate to say it, but i wont lie either. getting on that bird home though was anamazing feeling and non stop smiles across the atlantic.

after gettin home, things were pretty weird. i couldnt be in a car and berelaxed. i watched the side of the roads and the other drivers. i didnt evenlike to be the passenger in a vehicle. i had to drive or i wasnt going. i eventried to go to a christmas parade with some friends and all the sirens and loudnoises were really starting to get to me. i was pretty bummed that maybe thedeployment had messed with me. after a few weeks though everything was back tonormal. i met a girl whos now my wife. we're gettin ready to go on two yearsof marriage. i thought everything was good until we had our firt july 4. againall the booms and whistles got to me. but after it was all done i was fineagain. i had a good long year back at home. but the entire time preparing for mynext one.

thats where i am today. in afganistan. leaving this time was twice as hard.had to say goodbye to my wife which wasnt an easy thing to do. wanted to go AWOLso bad. she sat with me all day while we preped and did last minute "heyyou" projects. thankfully her dad and one of her sisters was with her forwhen i left. we had a big platoon prayer for all the soldiers and their lovedones. after we said amen, i watched her get in the car tears streaming down herface and off we went. we started our deployment in kandahar. we were there for amonth did a big long mission. were we did absoulutely nothing. just drove aroundsouthern afgan for 21 days. when we got back we cleaned our gear fixed ourtrucks then told we were going to visit the rest of the brigade in the east.thats where i am now. sittin 5 miles away from the pakistani border doingnothing. couple of TICs(troops in contact) here and there, but for the most partnothing. the only cool thing to happen is general petraus came out to see us. even that was a breif momentthough. but seriously all in all thats the extent of this deployment. NOTHING!!! well it has been quit a pleasure and joy to write this. i hope you all enjoyedit and i hope i didnt bore you. mom and dad love talkin about it and im surethat if you got any questions they would love to answer them for you. be lookingfor my books in the years to come. one is From Basic to Bagdad. the other is ASoldier and his Boredom. (maybe)love scott

How would you feel?

I had to take Colby to the doctor last week because he got into poison ivy, and he was covered from his head to his toes, literally. It was in and around his eye, his "private parts" and the bottom of his feet. He had to get a shot, and he had to get it in his rear end.

Normally, he is very good about getting his shots, but he didn't want one in his tail end, and so there was a lot of wiggling and laughing going on.

His nurse said, "Colby how would your daddy feel if he knew this is how you were acting about getting a shot?"

To which Colby replied, "How would you feel if I put a shot in your butt?"

The nurse and I both laughed, and she said "Yeah I guess I wouldn't like that either."

I Am Thankful For....

Google. And let me tell you why!!

Every family get together we have my sister-in-law, Tami, makes the best sweet potatoe pie in the world. She moved to Utah, but before she went she gave everyone in the family her sweet potatoe recipe. Sunday was the first family dinner we had since she and my brother moved. There was no sweet potatoe!! So not only were we short a family, but we were short a very good side dish to our meal.

I decided to make the sweet potatoe pie for our Thanksgiving dinner. I went to the store bought the sweet potatoes, brought them home and peeled them. Then I got my blender out, and tried to mix them up. That didn't work. Here, some of you are probably thinking, well duh, but I had never made mashed potatoes before so I had to go to google "how to make mashed sweet potatoes". Turns out you have to boil them first. Who knew? Then you mash them, and then you blend them.

The recipe never once said boil potaotes, mash them and then mix them. It just said mix the sweet potatoes. So that is what I did.

They turned out great, not quite as good as Tami's, but not bad for a girl who didn't even know who had to boil them first.

Life Is Changing

My brother Micah and his wife Tami, along with their two children (4 and 6) have moved to Utah. My brother decided he had enough of factory life, and it was time to go to school. They are off to Utah so he can attend BYU.

I am happy for them, but sad too. They won't be just 30 minutes down the road anymore. No more of Micah's outrageous comments that we loved to tease him about. No more of Tami's sweet potato caserole that she made for every get together. Sure she gave all of us the recipe, but it won't be her making it for us. No more sleep overs with Benjamin and Baley.

It was hard to say goodbye.

Colby is very sad. He can't believe his best friend (Benjamin) has moved away.

Hopefully, when he is all done with school, he will only be able to find a job hours away instead of days away.

Halloween

A fun night of trunk or treating with. Colby was a Ghostbuster, Frank was a Skeleton, and George was Batman.

A to Z Is All About Me

I'm not sure if the Natalie that was tagged was me or someone else, but since I like doing these things, I am going to say it was me.





A-Attached or Single?


Very attached to the best husband this girl could ask for. He really is a great husband and dad!!



B-Best Friend?

My husband and Alison.

C-Cake or Pie?

Definetely Pie, but I can leave either one. Brownies are a whole different story.

D-Day of Choice?

I really like Mondays. By the end of the day my house is spotless, my laundry is completey done, the house smells good. What else could a person want out of a Monday.

E-Essential Items?

Shampoo, lotion, my bed and a beach.

F-Favorite Color?

Pink and yellow.

G-Gummy bears or worms?

I really don't like either. Don't like the gummy texture.

H-Hometown?

Obion, TN. I lived there from 10 til 19 , but I have some really great childhood memories of living in Garland, TX.

I-Favorite Indulgence?

Ignoring all housework, phone calls, and responsibility of all kind in order to watch a movie or read a book.

J-January or July?

January is the month I got married, but July is the fourth of July, always a great holiday, but I'll go with January.

K-Kids?

1 great son, and hopefully I'll have an anoucement to make sometime in 2009.

L-Life Isn't Complete Without?

My little family, and lots of laughter.

M-Marriage date?

January 19th. 19 is our number. We started dating when we were 19 in 1999, on the 19th of Febuary. We got engaged on the 19th, married on the 19th and found out we were pregnant on the 19th, Colby was born at 7:19 which is the 19th hundered hour military time.

N-Number of Brother and Sisters?

I have 3 brothers and 3 sisters. 3 sister-in-laws, and 2 brother in laws. I have 4 sister-in-laws and 0 brother-in-laws on my husband's side of the family.

O-Oranges or Apples?

Both please!

P-Phobias and Fears?

Irratational fear of sharks. Can not even swim in the deep end of a swimming pool by myself for fear of shark. Yet, shark movies are my favorite and I still swim in the ocean.

Q-Quiet time, what do you like to do?

Naps. I love taking naps. I loved taking naps with Colby when he still took naps, and I enjoy taking them by myself now. They are the best thing ever!!

R-Reason to Smile?

Colby and Bill, even when they are driving me absolutely crazy, they can still make me smile.

S-Season of Choice?

I always say winter, because I have a great winter wardrobe, but I am going to say fall because I can wear the winter clothes, but still enjoy the sun. I just can't swim and lets face it the beach or pool is the only reason some of us survive summer.

T-Ticklish?

Just the bottom of my feet.

U-Unknown fact about me?

It took me 8 years to get an associates degree, but I did finish, eventually.

V-Vegetalbes?

yes please. spinach and broccoli especially.

W-Worst habit?

I can not keep a secret. Especially my own. I am horrible at it.

X-ray or Ultrasound?

Ultrasound of course

Y-your favorite food?

chicken and chocolate and not always in that order

Z-Zodiac Sign?

Sagitarius

I am not going to tag anyone, but I am going to challenge everyone who reads this to do it. I think these things are fun to fill out and read!! Happy Tagging Y'All!!

Practice Cake

Colby wants to have a Vampire Birthday party. So last night with Jennifer's help, I practiced his vampire birthday cake, and by accident the vampire ended up looking like Colby. They even have the same widow's peak.

Ready or Not Here I Come!!

I was tagged by Tasha, so here we go. Hope your hiding, becuase I won't be it for long.

Five Years Ago
1. Colby was 11 months old.
2. Worked at a movie theater
3. We lived in a tiny apartment, next to my brother, and above my sister, and across from my best friend
4. Bought a brand new truck
5. Still working on my degree

Things On My To Do List Today
1. Take and pick up son from school
2. Babysit my sisters kids
3. Wash towels for work
4. Carve a pumpkin
5. Employee viewing of HSM3

Snacks I Enjoy
1. Apples
2. Fresh Pineapple
3. Zebra Cakes
4. Ice cream cones
5. Reeses cups

Things I would Do If I Were A Millionaire
1. Pay off the trailblazer
2. Build a house with a pool
3. Put money in savings
4. Start a college/missionary fund
5. Stay out of debt

Places I've Lived
1. Tucson, AZ
2. Garland, TX
3. Dome Valley, AZ
4. Chino, CA
5. Union City, TN

Jobs I've Had
1. Babysitter
2. Gas station attendant
3. Movie Theater
4. Wife
5. Mommy

Tag Your It!!
1. Eliza
2. Spencer C.
3. Laura G.
4. Michelle S.
5. Amanda J.

4th picture 4 folder

I was tagged so I had to show my fourth picture from my fourth picture folder. Colby had a primary activity where the kids went to a "drive in movie" and had to make their own cars to watch the movie in. This was his car.

6 Truths of Life

1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.

2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.

3. And discover that The firs t truth is a lie.

4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.

5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.

6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.



I apologize about this .I'm an idiot and I needed company ...

Professional Bum/More Children

Colby and I had the following conversation about getting a job after college graduation.

Colby: What kind of jobs are there?
Me: Doctors, Dentist, Lawyers, Teachers, Accountants, Professional Ball Players.
Colby: I don't like any of that stuff.
Me: What do you like?
Colby: Watching TV, playing video games, living at home letting you and daddy take care of me.
Me: That's called a bum.
Colby: Yeah that's what I want to be a professional bum. Can you and dad build me a basement to live in? What kind of video games do bums like?


Colby had a Dr.'s appointment today, and while sitting in the waiting room I lady asked me if he was my only one. I said yes, and she told me I needed to have another. When we went into the examination room, the nurse asked me "Isn't it about time to have another child." Then the Dr. told me that she will be happy with me when I have another child.

I get it people, everyone wants me to have another child. But let me ask you this. If you knew that the one you already had was preparing to live in your basement for the rest of your life, would you be in a hurry to have another one?

Many Faces of Frank

This is what happens when you leave your camera on the table and you have an aspiring photographer (Colby) and model (Frank).

Colb'y Lullaby

Every night at bedtime I sing Colby a song, and usually it's "Hush Little Baby". I don't know what daddy is supposed to buy after the diamond ring, so I just make things up, til I can rhyme it back to mocking bird, and finish how the song begins.

I've come up with some pretty interesting rhymes.

Well, last night I asked Colby to sing the song to me, and this is what he came up with:

Hush little baby don't say a word
daddy's going to buy you a mocking bird,
and if that mocking bird don't sing,
pappa's going to buy you a diamon ring,
and if that diamond ring don't shine
pappa's going to buy you a butt,
and if that butt don't poop
pappa's going to buy you a monster
and if that monster don't scare you
pappa's going to buy you a bad guy
and if that bad guy won't fight you
pappa's going to buy you a police man,
and if that police man won't chase bad guys
pappa's going to buy you a lion
and if that lion won't roar
pappa's going to buy you a mocking bird
to feed the lion.

I was laughing through his whole song. I thought it was funny.

Fight For Kisses

Bill and I were watching the funniest commercials in the world on TBS and this one was our favorite. I've watched it like 50 times and it still makes me laugh. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.

I really relate to this video, because I think I ignored Bill the first year after Colby was born.

School Video

Alison put this together, and I thought it was real cute.

wut i love about the army

This blog was actually written by my little brother Scotton his myspace page. He's in Afghanistan now. I'm sure he wouldn't mind me sharing it with others. Warning there are a few bad words.

wut i love about the army
What I love most about the army is this. Good ole' uncles sam takes a handful of guys who make up a platoon. he then puts them together in small working places and expects us to get along. we do it, which is the surprising thing. he lets us sit there for a year. during that time we have to work as a team, learn eachothers weeknesses and strengths, learn to shoot move and communicate together so we can start to develope that trust, and let me tell you. there are some guys you just dont think you'll ever trust. not in combat, not with a weapon, not with your life. but you know what. we do it. we come together as friends, brothers, and most importantly a family away from family.
after that uncle sam sends us away. he takes us from our lives, wives, parents, and siblings. it sucks, its sad, and its the longest year or longer of our life. but you know what we got. we got our brothers standing next to us. going through the SSDD routines. the only person we can rely on now is that guy you thought you couldnt trust. that bond that was developed back at home is now being strengthend ten fold. he's got you when the shit hits the fan. hes got you when your homefront starts crumbling. hes got you just as your startin to thing thers is no possible way to continue on. then all the sudden the year is over. and your startin to get ready to come home. your off the front lines chillin and laughin and talking about everything that happened over the deployment. then it hits you. i thought i couldnt trust this guy in the beginning. but ive been trustin him every since i got on that plane leaving the states. now you got a frined for life. its not one of those high school BFFs, its for real. its never fading, never ending. he'll always be there.
this is what i love most about the army. i experince things with people that have become my family that my family will never have to experience. a bond that no civilian will ever feel, and the love for a job that everyone things we have to be crazy to do. we're not crazy, we just dont want our buddy hurt. we do it for him. the man next to us.

I Got Played

Anyone who knows my son, or has read this blog knows he can get into a little trouble.

Three days of school, and he's ran into a few problems.

First let me say that I know my son can be trouble. He gets punished. Time outs, toys taken away, a spanking here and there. Overall I do not think we (Bill and I) are push overs.

We explain the rules and the consequences of breaking the rules to Colby. We make sure he understands, and then we follow thru when the rules are broken.

He knows that if he gets in trouble at school, he will get in trouble at home.

Ok now with that said let me get into the story.

At Colby's school all the children had to go over the rules of the playground with the teacher and then their parents. The child had to sign the paper, and the parents had to sign the paper saying that they had gone over the rules with their child.

One of the rules is: The teacher has to be able to see you. If you can see the teacher, then the teacher can see you. (This is a direct quote from the piece of paper we signed).

Colby and some other kids were playing on the playground, when he decided he wanted to go play in the woods. So him, and about 5 other kindergartens left the playground area and went into the woods. The teacher saw them walking out of the woods, and made them walk the playground. (This is where they have to walk the perimeter of the playground in a singe file with their arms folded. They still get their exercise, and they get in trouble.)

When Colby got home from school I asked him how his day was, and he hung his head down, and said I'm grounded. I'm going to my room. I got in trouble, and now I have to sit on my bed.

He was so pathetic.

I asked him to tell me how he got in trouble, and he told me how he wanted to go play in the woods.

He said: We were playing on the playground, and I saw the woods, and I wanted to go play. Some other kids went with me. They just wanted to go. I didn't tell them too. Then the teacher saw us and we got in trouble so I'm going to my room. But I don't know why I got in trouble, because I could see her the whole time, so she could see me. That's what you said, if I can see her then she can see me. So I shouldn't have got in trouble.

So, here I am totally understanding his reasoning. I told him, his dad told him, and his teacher said if you can see me I can see you. Yet, he got in trouble. Plus, he was following the consequences and putting himself in time out. I folded.

I didn't follow thru. I let him off with a stern warning. I didn't make him go to his room, but let him play.

When I told some of the kids I work with, and my husband what happened, they all said the same thing "You got played"

I know I did, but he was sad, and truly sorry, and now he knows he can't play in the woods.

Meet and Greet

Last night was the official meeting and greeting of all the faculty and staff at Colby's school. We received an agenda of what our children would be learning and doing in Kindergarten. Kindergarten has changed since I was a kid. They are actually learning. No more baby sitting. In my head I thought I knew this, but after seeing it spelled out I was in a bit of shock.

I knew that he would have to say, spell, and recognize his name. I knew he would learn how to use scissors if he didn't already. Colors, shapes, numbers that was a given.

Most of the things he is going to learn, he already knows.

But there were a few things that surprised me.

Learning the value of money. I learned that in second grade. I actually learned it at home, but it was introduced to me in school til second grade.

Reading. Again I learned at home. But if they aren't reading sight words by Christmas break, then they are already behind in Kindergarten.

Telling time. I learned this very early, but only because when Jennifer learned she stood on the kitchen table and used a yard stick to teach me. Not because I wanted to learn, but she wanted to teach me.

Addition and Subtraction 0 to 5.

We have actually been doing this already, but it's more of his curiosity than me saying lets learn how to add and subtract. I know I didn't learn this til second grade.

For the most part, I am really happy that Colby knows most of this. I don't know that he actually knows the value of coins, but I know he'll take a quarter over a penny any day. He won't even trade you 1 quarter for 6 pennies. Scott and Alison always fell for that trick. If they had a dollar you could give them 2 pennies, because everyone knows 2 is more than 1.

He will know the difference between a writer and an illustrator. Who ever thought to teach your kids that when reading a book. I say the author's name, but I never thought to say, the author writes the book, and this person drew all the pretty pictures.

He will also be able to recognize and know the use of a (.) and (?). I know I learned this in second grade, becuase I remember Mrs Collins (my 2nd grade teacher) taught me how to make the (?).

And finally rhyming words. We have a lot of fun with rhyming. I say a word and he thinks of a word that rhymes with it. Or, I say a group of words and he tell me what rhymes.

One time playing this game I said "grass" and as soon as I said it I knew my mistake. He started laughing, and I said I change my mind I want you to rhyme chair. Colby said "No, a bad word rhymes with grass and since you said grass I have to say the bad word." He didn't but he wanted too.

When my little brother (Scott) was learning to rhyme he had a hard time with it. He said when he got married he was going to marry someone who could rhyme. Maggie if you read this I've always wondered are you a good rhymer?

Hi Chris

Last night we celebrated the August Birthday's in my family. Jennifer, Mom, Alison, and Scott all have an August Birthday. So we (Mom and Dad, Jennifer and Pete and their two sons, Alison, Bill, Colby and I) all went to Outback for dinner. We were waiting outside to be seated, and as we were waiting we heard a young man yell "Hi Uncle Chris" to another man. We didn't know these people, and no one gave this much thought. We were only even aware of the greeting, because our group was between the two men. About 5 minutes later, Chris comes walking up the walk and I hear Colby yell "Hi Chris." And then he looks at his dad and says "You remember Chris don't you, dad?" Chris waved to us, while we all laughed.

The Hard Way

Colby, Grandma, and I were playing memory at her house when Alison started bugging Colby. She was giving him kisses and messing with him when it wasn't his turn so he wouldn't be able to concentrate on the game. Mom and I kept telling her to leave him alone, but she wouldn't listen. Finally, Colby said ok Alison were going to have to do this the hard way. He picked up the inner tube of a bicycle wheel and started hitting her with it. She was screaming and told him to stop, and he said "No, you wouldn't stop so I'm not going to stop." She took the rubber tube from him, and gave it to my mom. Not even a minute goes by and she starts messing with him again. Again, we have to tell her to leave him alone, but she won't. So this time, Grandma says we'll have to do this the hard way, and chases Alison into the bathroom, threatening to hit Alison with the innertube. What a fun day at Grandma's house.

The Names Dan, Colby Dan

--Colby's Quick Wit:
Man: Hey, what's your name?
Colby: Well she calls me trouble, my dad calls me son, but you can call me Colby Dan.

--Colby the king of smack talk:
Colby: I'm going to beat the stank right out of your butt.

--Colby the drama king:
Anytime Bill has to get onto Colby this is what follows.
Colby: Daddy doesn't love me. I always knew he didn't love me. Daddy why don't you love me?


Colby the instigator:
Colby: Dad what are we going to do if mom falls in love with someone else?
Bill: We'd have to win her back son.
Colby: She has a boyfriend, it's the mailman. She has his picture hidden and she kisses it everynight. His name is Robert.
*side note Robert is our old neighbor, and he's the mailman and i've never kissed him

Colby quite not understanding the concept of step parents:
Colby: I wish I had two dads.
Bill: Why, son?
Colby: So when you don't have time to play with me, my other dad will.

or

Colby: Dad you want to go outside and play baseball?
Bill: In a minute son, I'm busy.
Colby: If I had another dad he wouldn't make me wait.

Fun Fun Fun

This is my favorite picture that was taken all summer long. We were on the beach in Gulf Shores looking for ghost crabs. If Colby looks tired, it's because he is. If I remember correctly I think its about 12:30 in the middle of the night. We were out there from 10:00 til like 1:00. We were the only ones on the beach, and we were having too much fun to go inside and go to bed, besides we were on vacation who needs bedtime.

Bittersweet

This is the last weekend we have with our little boy before he officially becomes a kindergardner. It's sad, but exciting at the same time. We've been planning one last family summer fling, before we have an official kindergardner. I've been looking forward to school all summer, but now that we have approached the last weekend of summer I'm starting to feel nervous for my little man.

Me: Colby are you nervous?
Colby: What does that mean?
Me: It means you feel excited and scared at all once. Maybe it feels like you have butterflies in your stomach.
Colby: No, I just feel like I have to poop when I think about school.
Me: Well, that could mean your nervous.
Colby: No, I think it just means school makes you poop.

Men and Their Toys

Bill loves his lawnmower. I mean literally loves it. It took us about 6 months to save up for his lawnmower, and until he bought it that is all he talked about. Cub Cadet this and Cub Cadet that. It was so bad that the men he works with printed out pictures of Cub Cadets and hung them up in the office at work. He would come home from work; get on the internet and look at more pictures of lawnmowers. I am not a jealous person, but I got real close to being jealous of his obsession with this lawnmower. Finally, the day came that he could buy his lawnmower. He was like a kid on Christmas morning. He got to the store, before it opened and impatiently waited for it to open. He's had this lawnmower for two years, and the love has not faded. He not only loves his lawnmower, but he loves to use it. He'll mow the yard three times in a day. He's mowed the yard four times in a week. If we are going somewhere, and he has to wait on me to get ready, he goes out and mows the yard. The man is obessed. Well, yesterday he wanted to mow, because he hadn't mowed since Thursday, and the lawn really needed to be mowed. I mean he almost went a whole week without mowing (gasp). But, sadly, the mower was in the shop. He cried, and whined,and was in a bad mood all day, because he wanted to mow, and he couldn't. I told him to borrow a friends mower, but that wasn't what he wanted he wanted his mower. He called the shop to find out when it would be ready. He threw a little temper tantrum when he found out it may not be ready til the next day. I couldn't help but laugh at him. He was so sad. His favorite toy was broken. Fortunately, the shop called and he was able to pick up the mower, and he had enough time to mow the yard. Yay, everything was good in his world again. When I got home from work, he was so happy, he even saw the humor in the way he had been acting earlier in the day, when before I tried to point out the humor he was to busy being angry to see it. So I'm happy to report, that the mower is safely back home, the grass is cut, and Bill is happy again.

Fair Play

Bill wanted to know why my blog was all about him, and thought it would only be fair to share some things about me.



--Before I wore contacts, I would rather be blind than wear glasses, and I have horrible vision. One day I was driving out to Bill's parents house, without my glasses, when I saw a lion in the middle of the road prowling towards my car. I got really scared and wondered if I should turn around, but I was also very curious as to what a lion was doing in the middle of this back country road. I had visions of this lion jumping onto the hood of my car, but curiosity won out, and so I ever so slowly inched closer and closer to this lion. Until I got close enough to realize it was a cow and not a lion. But for those few moments that I believed it was a lion were the most confusing scariest moments of my life. But ever since that day, I have always driven with my glasses.



--When Bill and I were dating he came up to the movie theater to see me. I went outside to talk to him. I was standing on the curb right outside the building, and he was sitting in his truck. We were talking and flirting, and I was trying to look cute, when all of a sudden I slipped and feel underneath Bill's truck. I was laughing hysterically, and Bill was leaning out the window asking me if I was ok. He couldn't open his door, because he would have hit me in the head. He had a friend in the passenger side and they had to get out of the truck to help me up, becuase I couldn't quit laughing long enough to help myself.



--When we were dating I was at Bill's parents house and I started feeling bad. I went to use the bathroom, and I was in there a little longer than I should have been. When Bill comes to the door asking me if I am ok, because eveyone in the living room can hear me, and then Bill starts demonstrating what it sounded like. I started yelling at him to shutup and to go away. The more embarassed I seemed the more he did it. Finally, I was able to leave the bathroom, and I made him take me straight home, and I didn't go back to his house for a few months because I was so embarassed. Bill loves this story, and he likes to tell it to everyone.

Funny Things a Husband Says or Does

--This summer we had a fly problem in our house. Bill went to Wal-Mart and bought fly traps. Sticky strings of paper to catch flies on. This fly trap hung in the kitchen for 3 days and the flies ignored it. So, Bill being the great hunter he is, used the fly swatter and killed 3 flies and stuck them to the fly trap to use as decoys. He figured the other flies would see these 3 flies hanging around and decide to join them. Crazily enough, it worked.

--One day Colby and Bill were wrestling. Every time Bill knocked Colby down, he said "Get up son, don't stay down, you can never stay down, that's when you get hurt." Colby would get up just so Bill could knock him down again. On it went for about 10 minutes. Until, Colby got a lucky hit in and hit Bill in the privates. Well, Bill fell down moaning and rolling all over the floor. Colby started hitting Bill saying "Get up daddy, don't stay down, that's when you get hurt." Bill wanted me to get Colby off him, but I was too busy laughing, plus I thought Bill deserved it.


--When I was pregnant with Colby I wanted a girl and Bill wanted a boy. We went for our ultrasound and the technician said we were having a boy. Bill was so happy. On the way home from the doctor's office, I asked Bill "what if the technician made a mistake, and we end up having a girl." Bill said, "Then I'll shave her hair off, and do an ultrasound on her head to make sure she has a brain." It was really funny.

--A couple years ago we had a birthday party for Bill, and we had a lot of people come. I had to park my car out in the middle of the yard. After everyone left, I never moved my car back into the driveway. The next morning I was dressed for church, and I didn't want to walk out in the yard in my shoes, so I woke Bill up and asked him to go and get the car for me. He was sleeping only in his boxers, and since I was running late I told him not to bother putting on pants, and to just slip on some shoes and go get my car. We lived out in counrty and no one was going to see him. Colby and I went outside to wait for him to bring the car onto the driveway and not thinking about it I locked the door, and Bill was using the spare set of keys so there was no house key on the key chain. So there Bill is locked outside of the house in just his boxers. We had to drive out to his parents house and get the spare key from them. They gave us the wrong key, but we didn't know it til we got home, and so we had to go back to there house, but they were at church so we had to drive to the church and get the right key. I'm laughing uncontrollably the whole time, and Colby is sitting in the back seat asking "why is daddy in his boxers?" It still makes me laugh.

--Bill is a sleep walker and talker. He does and says crazy things while he asleep. One night, Alison and I were up late and I could hear Bill getting mad in his sleep. I walked in the bedroom to to hear what he was mumbling about. In his dream, he was playing golf, and wherever his ball landed men started doing construction work. So he was having to hit his ball around cranes, bulldozers, and half finished buildings. He was getting madder and madder and all I could do was laugh.

--Bill does not think I am funny. I crack myself up and others a lot, however, Bill does not find me amusing at all. One night Alison and I were up late again, when Bill came out of the bedroom and started eating a brownie. This is unusual in itself, because my husband does not really like sweets. He sits down beside me on the couch to eat his brownie, and Alison and I are trying to figure out if he is asleep or not. We are talking and making each other laugh, and he starts laughing and cracking jokes with us. Then we knew he was asleep, so we started making fun of him laughing harder, which caused him to laugh harder. It was funny.